No Longer Lonely
by NightChild01
Summary: YAOI! PG-13 for death-themes. After a tragic loss strikes, two souls meet up again on the prefix of a mission. Will these two souls be able to save themselves and each other? Or will the loneliness of loss prove to be too strong to fight?


            No Longer Lonely

            For Holly on her birthday

            By: NightChild

            ***

            It was a cold winters day, a young man sat by a window of a small house, staring at his reflected, sad, haunted aqua eyes. _'It's been three years today.'_ The young man thought mournfully. _'It's been three years since you and Heero took that extremely dangerous mission for the Preventors. Three years since…' _sad, haunted eyes filled with tears. _'Since you…died.'_ He thought finally, tears overflowing his eyes and falling down his too-pale cheeks.

            Wiping his eyes and turning away from the reflection that showed a shell of what he used to be, the sorrowful young man walked away from the window, just as snow started to fall lightly outside.

            He walked to his bedroom, not noticing the simple-yet-comfortable surroundings he passed. Not really caring. He had not felt anything but sadness, loss and grief since his love had taken that mission with their long-time friend and comrade. _'Why did you go? You didn't have to…it's not like they could have ordered you to go. Why…?'_ Shaking his head, he realized that he was at his bedroom door and flung it open, the door making a slight thud as it hit the wall behind it.

            Flopping forlornly into the soft bed, he ran a shaky, thin hand though his pale, pale blond hair. With an almost wistful smile he looked up at the plain, white ceiling. "You said that I was your angel…it had something to do with my hair, didn't it? And the way we just seemed to fit together, like two halves of one being…" he shook his head. It wouldn't do to make himself more depressed than he already was. He turned over onto his side, head on the fluffed pillow, closed his eyes and let the oblivion of sleep claim him.

            ***

            Somewhere else, on the same colony, on the same cold winters day, sat another young man, this time, staring at the wall opposite him, his dulled violet eyes unseeing. "It's been three years, Heero." He said in a voice that was devoid of emotion. Emotions hurt too much, he had learned that three years ago when Heero--his life, his love--had left for that cursed mission and the detonation timers had malfunctioned, gone off early and…and killed Heero and Trowa.

            Shaking his head to clear it of that horrid day, the young man stood, his long, braided, brown hair swinging with the movement. The hair would have been magnificent, if it weren't gnarled in the braid and still had its shine. He hadn't been taking care of it properly for a long time, didn't really care what it looked like.

"I should have been there." He whispered to himself as he collapsed on a near-by couch to try to escape his pain by slipping into the blessed release that was sleep. Anything was better than being awake and feeling the things he felt. With that, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

            The broken, blaring sound of the vid-phone going off snapped the braided young man out of a dreamless slumber. The said young man jumped up, eyes wide, before he realized what the noise was. Sighing, he stood and walked to the phone.

            When he reached the vid-phone, he picked up the receiver and pressed a button, no image appeared on the screen, only the blackness that seemed to mirror his heart and soul. "Hello?" he said into the mouthpiece, his voice hallow.

            "Duo Maxwell?" came a female's voice from the other side of the line, a voice he almost recognized.

            "Yes…?" he raised an eyebrow, the first sign of any emotion he had shown for a long time.

            "You have a new mission."

            "Preventors, right?" he still didn't know why he had joined their reserve ranks after Heero and Trowa were killed…he just felt like he had owed them that much.

            "Yes. You're to meet Quatre Winner at the small café on the outskirts of the province of the colony you're currently staying at. You know the place. Report immediately."

            "Understood."

With that, the line went dead.

            Duo quickly raced around the house to gather what he thought he would need, shoving it all into a black duffle bag. Once finished with that task, he headed out to his assigned meeting place, wondering how Quatre was doing. They had lost contact with each other and Wufei after the accident that had shattered their lives.

            ***

            The aqua eyed, blond haired young man sat at a secluded table at a small, almost-cozy café. He was supposed to be meeting one of his old friends for a mission of some sort. They were to meet up at the café then return to his house to await further orders, which could take a while, but they were supposed to "sit tight" until they got them.

            The young man sighed and glanced down into his half-empty mug of tea. "How did I get myself into this?" he wondered aloud, not expecting an answer.

            "The same reason I did, old buddy." Came a very, very familiar, obviously falsely cheerful voice from behind him.

            Turning, the aqua-eyed young man saw a thinner--as if he weren't eating properly--paler, taller version of the Duo Maxwell that he remembered fondly. "Duo!" he exclaimed, momentarily forgetting his sorrow.

            "Hey, Quatre." Duo grinned, said grin not reaching his eyes, as he observed Quatre. He was way too thin, his hair limp, and his skin paler than it had ever been, looking almost white. Sitting down across from Quatre and plunking down his black duffle, Duo noticed the dark, puffiness under Quatre's eyes, but he pretended that he didn't notice; he was sure that he didn't look much better, himself. Forcing cheerfulness into his voice he asked, "So, Q, what do you know about this new mission?" he was careful to keep his voice low as to not have anyone over hear.

            Quatre took a sip of his tea before he answered, keeping his voice at the carefully lowered tone Duo had used. "We were to meet here, go back to my house, and wait for further instructions--which could take a while."

            "Okay, let's go then, if you're ready."

            Nodding Quatre stood up, placing money on the table. "Yes, let's." he said as he turned and started to walk off, keeping his pace slow so Duo would be able to catch up.

            Duo grabbed his duffle and jogged after Quatre, catching up to him just as he left the café. "So…which way?" he asked as he fell into step beside Quatre.

            "We'll go to my car and I'll drive us." Quatre stated simply as he walked to a plain, white car that was parked by the curb. It looked to be a nice enough car, but not one would expect "the Winner heir" to have. Put plainly, it looked below him in some way.

            Duo glanced at the car. He liked it. "Nice car." He said as Quatre opened the passenger-side door for Duo.

            A slight grin passed over Quatre's thin, drawn, pale face. "Thanks." He whispered as Duo slid in the car, dragging his duffle bag in behind him. He walked to the drivers-side, opened the door, slid in, turned the engine on and they drove off.

            As they pulled up to Quatre's house, Duo stared. It wasn't a mansion like he thought it would be, rather it was…a house. A small one, too. Not seeming any bigger than to have one bathroom and two bedrooms. And, it was in the middle of nowhere, in the woods--which were rare on colonies--with only dirt roads that led to it--another rarity for a colony, but not an expensive one. The house itself was a dull, tan color with a dark brown for trim, and had a small garage attached in front. It looked like one of those cozy, suburb homes that were a rarity anywhere.

            Quatre drove the car up to the garage door and turned it off. "Well…we're here." He said in a voice that Duo could tell was falsely cheered.

            _'Can't lie to me about being cheerful and expect it to work.' _Duo thought as he nodded bouncily, grabbed his duffle, opened the car-door and stepped out. "Nice." He said half-absentmindedly as he finished looking around with his eyes, noticing the trees all around and the small lawn that needed to be mowed badly.

            Without another word to each other, they headed inside the house, Quatre in the lead and Duo following him. The inside of the house had a cozy, homey look to it, but there was something missing that didn't make it feel as cozy and homey as it looked. The air of the house was almost oppressive and hung thickly, like an invisible fog.

            As they passed through the living room, which was attached directly to the front door, Duo noticed that it was much smaller than he had expected it to be and sparsely filled. The rest of the house looked to be furnished in the same manner. Certainly, this was not what one would expect anything of Quatre Winner's to be. But Quatre had changed in the three years since he had last seen him. He had changed in the three years since he, himself, had last seen Quatre. He wasn't sure if the changes that had occurred were good or not, but he was sure that at least some of them weren't good in the least.

            Duo nearly bumped into Quatre when he stopped in front of a closed door, but managed not to, barely. "This will be your room. The kitchen is just off of the living room, I'm sure you'll be able to find it easily enough. If you need anything, I'm just two doors down. The door between ours is the bathroom." With that, Quatre turned and walked to his room, opened the door and shut it.

            "That is a change that is not good." Duo said softly to himself as he opened the door to what was to be his room. The room was much the same as the rest of the house. Cozy but sparse. There was a single-wide bed on the wall directly across from the door, draped in light blue bedding; the window directly next to the head of the bed; a small, wooden chair in the corner next to the bed; a dresser kiddy-corner across from the bed and a full-length mirror on the wall close to the door. _'Nice.'_ Duo thought as he walked in, shut the door and dropped the duffle by it.

            ***

            Quatre sat in the wooden chair in his room by the window. _'Why does he make me feel?'_ he asked himself, not understanding why Duo was the only one that made him feel anything. Once, he had thought that he could care for Duo as more than a friend, but his devotion and love for Trowa made him banish those feelings. _'And now…'_ he shook his head. _'I shouldn't be thinking about this!'_ he stood quickly from his chair and began to pace the room.

            "What's going on? Why does he make the pain in my soul ease? …I don't understand." With that, he collapsed onto the bed to try and let the oblivion of sleep claim him once more. It was too confusing to try to think, and if he let himself stay awake, he'd only end up thinking.

            ***

            In a room, two doors down from where Quatre now fitfully slept, Duo was pacing back and forth. He was completely frustrated with himself because Quatre stirred something in his heart that hadn't been touched for years. Something that he thought only Heero could touch and stir. The something he thought had died when Heero had. "God, what's happening to me?" he whispered to himself as he flopped down on his wooden chair.

            His sitting didn't last long, and soon he was back to pacing the room. Back and forth, back and forth. The more he paced, the more he thought and soon he had a headache from all of the emotional turmoil he had stirred up. With a defeated sigh, he fell into his bed with a muffled thump and fell asleep, hoping that things would be clearer when he awoke.

            It was after the War, before the War that followed a year after. I sat in a large, bay window overlooking the ocean on earth. I don't know why I came to see him…well…honestly, I did…but I wasn't about to admit it to anyone, especially Quatre and Heero.

_            For some reason, Quatre made me feel things like Heero made me feel…and since Heero had disappeared to go "find himself", I decided that I should pay Quatre a visit, to see what these feelings he made me feel were. What I found out frightened and excited me at the same time. I…was infatuated with him. Not the way that I was with Heero, there was something more with him. But what I felt for Quatre could grow if I let it. But I couldn't let it. I loved…or could love…Heero and I wouldn't let myself explore what I felt for Quatre._

_            I think he felt the same way about me, sometimes I'd see him staring at me with a look that was almost like the one he'd give Trowa when he thought no one was looking. I wondered if he was as frightened and excited about it as I was--if he felt the same way that I did, which I wasn't exactly sure about._

_            I stayed with him for nearly a month._

_One day, I found him sitting in a dark corner, where he obviously thought no one would find him, crying his beautiful, aqua eyes out._

_            "Why are you crying?" I had asked him._

_            He looked up at me with those tear-stained eyes of his and whimpered, "Trowa and I had a fight." Then he lowered his head and I saw his shoulders shake with suppressed sobs._

_            I don't know why, but I pulled him into a tight, comforting embrace at hearing those words. I just wanted him to stop crying and smile again. I'd do anything to make him smile again. He didn't resist the embrace like I thought he would, instead, he pulled me closer to him, wrapping his arms around my neck and leaning his face toward mine…_

            Duo snapped up from his laying position on the bed so fast that he thought he nearly had whiplash. He sat staring at the door across from the bed panting, sweat clinging to his skin and making his clothes feel uncomfortably restricting. "What…was that? I haven't thought of that for six years…" he sighed and flopped back down on the pillow. It was dark out, but he wouldn't be getting any more sleep that night.

            ***

            The next morning found Duo in the kitchen at the crack of dawn because he had hardly slept and had nothing better to do. Currently, he was standing at the counter while munching some toast and drinking some scaldingly hot coffee. He sighed. "What the hell was with that…?" he asked himself, thinking of the dream/memory from the previous night.

            "What the hell was what?" came a voice from behind Duo.

            Duo jumped slightly and looked over his shoulder to see Quatre standing in the middle of the kitchen, his pale hair mussed from fitful sleep and the dark bags under his eyes showing more prominently. "Nothing…just a dream." He answered vaguely, turning back to his steaming mug of coffee and mostly burnt toast.

            Letting his feet carry him to stand beside Duo, Quatre let the matter of Duo's dream drop. He glanced at Duo's pathetic toast. "You never could cook well." He said in as much of a joking tone as he could manage.

            Glancing at his toast, Duo let a grin form on his face. "Nope…I couldn't." he said as he turned his amethyst gaze to Quatre, grin still visible. The part of him that he had thought long dead, digging itself out of it's shallow grave. He was healing…finally.

            "I'm kind of hungry myself…so how about I fix us some scrambled eggs and toast?"

Quatre's voice brought Duo out of his amazement of realizing that Quatre could be the one to save him…heal him…and perhaps love him. Nodding he answered in a whisper, "Yeah…that sounds nice."

            As he cooked the eggs, Quatre stole a glance at Duo. He had awakened something that Quatre had thought he let die and rot inside him. That amazed him. Frightened him. _'Can I learn to love again? No longer be lonely?' _he asked himself as he took the now-cooked eggs from the frying pan, placing them on plates, just as the toaster popped up the toast. _'If he'll let me, I think I can.'_ With a smile on his face--the first real one for a long time--he walked to the table, where Duo sat, carrying the plates of eggs and toast. He noticed that Duo had made them coffee.

            ***

            Quatre laid in bed, thinking of years passed. Of the events that had allowed him to become closer to someone who helped heal his heart and soul, and he returned the favor gladly. He smiled and rolled over, looping an arm around the man next to him.

            The man smiled, his amethyst eyes sparkling. "Thinking about the past again?" he asked as he pulled Quatre to him and wrapping his arms around him, his long, brown hair spilling over his shoulder with the movement.

            Quatre gave the man a kiss on the cheek and snuggled into his chest. "Yes." He answered simply.

            "I thought so." The man answered, resting his chin on top of Quatre's pale, blond hair.

            "Duo?"

            The man smiled. "Hmm?"

            "I love you."

            "I love you too, Quatre." Duo said, kissing Quatre's lips gently. "Go back to sleep now."

            Nodding, Quatre did as he was told, falling asleep almost instantly. Duo looked down at his love, his eyes soft with emotions. He was finally truly happy and he had the angelic man that laid in his arms to thank for that. Quatre would always be there for him, and he would always be there for Quatre. They wouldn't let the other be lonely ever again.

            It turned out that their "mission" had been a hoax set up by Une as a way to get them together, she had always been a little too smart for her own good and somehow knew that they had repressed feelings for each other. Duo was grateful to Une for her insightfulness, as was Quatre. If it weren't for her setting them up on their "mission", they wouldn't be together currently.

            With a contented sigh, Duo closed his eyes and let sleep claim him, a smile gracing his lips. They would be happy and content for the rest of their lives. He would make sure of that.

            ***

            Disclaimer: Don't own anything in here beside the scrambled eggs, and I'm not even sure about that.

            AN: As mentioned with the title, this fic is for Holly (Berrful Hunter) as a birthday present. So…HAPPY FOURTEENTH BIRTHDAY, HOLLY! *glomp*

            This was harder to write than I thought it was going to be, but I got it finished in time to post it on her birthday and I'm very happy with myself because of that.

            Anyway, I hoped that you liked it and reviews are always welcome, but this fic is a one-shot and will not be continued (unless for some reason after "Scarlet Love" is finished I decided to continue it).

            Ja`ne!


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